Ask Andre

Dear Andre,

I’m new to Boulder High, and coming up is my first round of finals. I’ve never had finals before. My grades aren’t great to begin with, so I’m really hoping to do well. Several teachers have told me not to worry about it, but I can’t help feeling that it’s really important.

Do you have any tricks to help me get through the next few weeks?

-Fearful of Finals

Dear Fearful,

I’m so glad you came to talk to me, it sounds like your advice so far has been unsound.

The worst thing you could do before finals is “not worry” about them. During my time here I’ve seen kids expelled for as little as saying that they had an easy finals week.

That being said, it’s true that you shouldn’t study. You don’t want people thinking you’re a nerd, do you? Nerds do weird things like write advice columns for the school newspaper and study for finals. You don’t want to be associated with people like that.

One Finals strategy that I always use is to fast before all my finals. There’s nothing like an empty stomach to motivate you to get through your test as fast as possible. Besides, taking advantage of the extra long lunch to satisfy yourself with a massive feast is one of the true joys of high school.

Finally, make sure you get lots of sleep. I always make myself a special cup of “energizer” tea before bed to help me get to sleep quickly.  To make it simply boil a can of Monster® energy drink, pour it in your favorite teacup, and add milk and sugar to taste.

Sincerely,

Andre

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